Char Koay Teow, the inadvertent revival of "Not many, if any!"

Chinese New Year. Not the sickly hot and tedious affair that I had dreaded.

Earlier plan to abandon the festivities in hometown Penang this year and hibernate in foetal position in KL until the last of the fireworks went poof got upended last-minute. Mag and precious Ollie decided to come home after all!

And who says no to Ollie? To quote this (admittedly catchy in retrospect) one-time NZ hip-hop flash in the pan, "Not many, if any!"

The same quote, also applies as standard response by any person worth his or her weight on the island to my biggest beef during Chinese New Year - the question on the streets, "what to eat ah??"

But this one time, I was coaxed by Toto into the wild frontier of Penang CNY traffic to break fast with him at this cafe, end of Jalan Air Itam, almost at the foot of Penang Hill.

This industrious couple dished up plate after plate of authentic Char Koay Teow.

A decidedly small portion for RM5, as expected. But the smoky, heady plate of silky noodles, thoroughly coated with the goodness of egg and animal fat, topped with two pudgy, fresh prawns KILLED it.

"Uh, how many dudes you know roll like this,

how many dudes you know flow like this,

not many, if any,not many, if any,

How many dudes you know who got the skills to go in and rock,

a show like this,
uh uh, uh uh, I don't know any body."

The exception it seems, is here.

Now excuse me while I try restore my long-buried ambition to become a rapper, uh uh uh uh

Excellent Cafe (also "Xin Ya Zhou" or "New Asia" in Mandarin)
Jalan Air Itam
(last coffee shop on your left if you're coming from Georgetown, right before you hit the Penang Hill roundabout)
11400 Penang

Rasta Food Court, TTDI

Rasta's new location next to the Penchala link is definitely an improvement from the tight squeeze next to the Mobil station at TTDI.

The rainy spell's really freshened up the dreadry weather all around, so Rasta's very airy, extremely open concept was perfect to enjoy some fancy-free, food-court grub in cool, KL evening breeze and parade our flip flops and faded post-office appearances. The setting imparted a strange sense of pliable well-being, enough for me to be persuaded to overlook my disdain of Jason Mraz's Malaysian format radio casualty and agree to go to his concert in March. I hope I know what I'm doing!!

Waffles with ice-cream arrived first - impressive amount of ice cream on lovely waffles, not at all like the stuff they make outside hypermarkets.

Yoda's Bihun Sup - Yoda wasn't ill but his meal suggested otherwise. Very generous vegie quota though, which seems to be an aversion by hawkers everywhere.

An order of Nasi Goreng USA came drowned in gravy of the accompanying beef slices, rendering its consistency porridge-like 1/3 into the meal. The dish owner proclaimed this good though, licking the entire plate clean.

From the famed Azim's Burger Shack, I ordered the Grilled chicken burger. For RM7, it isn't your standard mat burger pricing, but this was real tender, superbly marinated chicken tenderloin, not patty, served with healthy dosage of lettuce and tomato. Knowing their tendency to go crazy with sauces, I asked for less mayo and the result was beautiful. Could've done with a slightly larger bun though!

The requisite Koay Teow goreng made an appearance on the table. Apparently, this was only so-so, with no more than one lonely shrimp gracing the plate.

Rasta is extremely reasonable and there are plenty of halal menus to choose from, including dimsum, kampung curries and even shisha. We paid RM40 for 5 of us, including drinks. Like that there's the tacit trust factor in place, in the form of the eat-first-then-pay self service counter.

Fishing for Attitude at Song River, Gurney Drive

They say the grilled fish at the infamous Song River Cafe on Gurney Drive is not like any other in the world. And the guy who makes it isn't like any other grilled fish hawker either. Tread carefully with him, they say, for you never know what his erratic mood swings will throw your way. The list of don'ts when ordering from menopausal uncle is endless, but the key ones are: don't mince your words, don't hesitate at point of ordering, don't ask for something he isn't "feeling" like grilling (this can be quite tricky), don't remind him if you've been waiting long for your order unless you're ready to risk not getting it at all.

He arrives and opens his stall as and when he pleases. On this particular visit, a large group of us arrived at 9PM with great anticipation, armed with BYO wine, and contented ourselves for a long wait ahead.

While we waited, we stocked up on some other Song River goodies, which are abundant and thankfully not entirely the domain of difficult divas.

The much sought-after grilled chicken wings - smoky, smoky sweetness! Multiple rounds of these were ordered.

Char Koay Teow, equally inspiring with three may-jah fat pink prawns.

Hokkien Mee. I didn't taste this, but the soup looked a tad too clear for my liking.


The wait went on. More bottles were opened to soothe frayed, impatient nerves.
A camera-friendly uncle came by, hawking plastic containers of arrowroot chips, signalling the arrival of the rambunctious pre-CNY season. One container was purchased for RM18, finished with gusto paired with refreshing Tiger, having polished off the wine.

Still no sign of Uncle and that charming attitude. We were getting restless. And boisterous. Oysters are kinda shellfishy, so one plate of fried oysters appeared to help tide us over.

It barely helped. Oysters were aplenty enough but much too oily, eggs overfried and generally not what it was remembered to be.

Finally, the eminent fish griller swanned in at 10.45PM but wait, no hassling him while he takes his own sweet time setting up. Come 11.15PM, KJ meekly approached him to place his orders in the way that only KJ knew how. More waiting ensued. Finally...

Grilled fish belly, begging the question, how can such a disagreeable demeanour produce something so tender and delicate? Silence fell over the table as this disappeared almost instantly.

Stir-fried lala - the lalas were extremely malnourished but never mind, the heavenly coating rendered the shells good enough to swallow.

Someone mentioned grilled brinjals. KJ had asked for this earlier, only to be told there weren't any. Spurred on by Dutch courage, a group approached Uncle Attitude. A bellowing negotiation ensued, with the kind of chutzpah that would only apply in Hokkien, and it went something like this...

"We wondered if you have any brinjals?"

"NO! I told you I don't have any! Stop pestering me!"

"OK, in case you do have some, and you felt like preparing it later, please let us have some."

"I don't feel like it! I never feel like brinjals on weekends!"

"Right, in case you felt differently tonight..."

"If you want brinjals so badly, leave me alone and go on over to the mainland... you'll probably find some THERE!"

Defeated, we settled for an additional order of grilled fish. Same deal with the earlier belly, exquisite flavours beyond compare. 5 minutes tops, and the plate was empty.

Paying him proved to be just as big a challenge. Apparently, money isn't motivation enough for him to be nice. We asked to pay about three times, each time knocked back with a barked "I'm too busy right now!" Apparently, the story goes that he actually holds down three jobs - one as a fisherman, two as a fishmonger during the day and three, as grilled fish diva at Song River at night. Could explain the attitude, but seems to me he enjoys torturing the lot of grilled fish worshippers who remain unfazed by the ill-treatment.

Certainly a dining experience for the memory cards. Would love to return for the brinjals but I don't know if I could handle Uncle with as much aplomb minus the group.

Quintessential Penang, Kafe Kheng Pin, Penang Road

There are simply not enough eating hours, even over a super-long weekend to get my fill of Penang. Thankfully, I have a trusted eating companion in Fat Tulip who is keen on sharing and caring, so we get to sample more variety.

The second day of Raya saw us visiting Kheng Pin, a kopitiam on Penang Road that clearly exemplifies an evergreen oldie but goodie. This place has only a handful of stalls, all of them serving GREAT fare.

We started with the customary plate of loh bak. Granted, it's 9 in the morning and all that grease is probably not the best way to start the day but it's a holiday! And look at everyone else in the kopitiam, tucking in happily! An assortment of deep-fried goodies, a bit of century egg, all dunked in the thick savoury goodness of chilli and loh sauce. Close-up of loh bak - I am not a huge fan of loh bak but this one is simply irresistible, comprising chunkier pork meat than the other standard loh baks around town. I am also awed by the uncle who hovers over the cauldron of boiling hot oil for hours on end, hardly breaking a sweat. He was at it in the morning and when we returned after noon to take away chicken rice for lunch, he was still working it, cool as the cucumber that he serves with his loh bak.

Char Koay Teow with duck egg, and plenty of juicy prawns. This is Penang on a plate!

I also ordered the Wantan mee, having spied the extended queue and the waiting time, always a good sign. And I wasn't disappointed! The wantans were fat and juicy, the noodles drenched in the familiar concoction of dark soy and lard oil. Big ups!

Kafe Kheng Pin is quite the institution so any self-respecting foodie would know where it is. It's located on the corner of Sri Bahari Road and Penang Road. I can't wait to go back!

Dinner at Chulia Street #2

The requisite close-up.
True testament of tastiness: three empty plates.
Power Curry Mee. It made us cough, which must mean it has special powers.

Dinner at Chulia Street

The Loaf window display at Rainforest Bakery, Chulia Street. Quality Baked Goods.
Illustrations of Quality Baked Goods at the Rainforest Cafe
Chulia Street Char Koay Teow: The Expert-Maker is now in semi-retirement and opens irregularly at irregular times. So it was extremely fortuitous we manage to catch him in action. Papa Chow was so overcome with glee he immediately ordered three plates of Char Koay Teow for each of us without prior consultation. This miffed Mama Chow at first, but she understood the rareness of this opportunity. It just had to be done.
Also forces to be reckoned with, the Wan Tan Mee stall & the Curry Mee stall. There are two Wan Tan Mee stalls in close proximity: Mama Chow likes both.
I love the lop-sided placement; it's a good indication of the speed and wild, mad, frenetic energy of the fryer: I love its urgency.

Valentines Day: Eats on Ollie's Arrival Date,

Breakfast: Takeaway Nasi Lemak from the stall down the road. Goodness. She sells out by 8am.
Dinner at Bee Hooi Cafe, Burmah Road, Pulau Tikus. With an hour to spare before Mag went into push-push labour in Penang Adventist Hospital, we went for a quick dinner down the down the road. Assam Laksa - dense fish-pulpy soup, great texture.
Papa Chow digging into some Loh Mee, noodles & rice noodles in a thick pork-brothy starchy soup. Sounds uber-gross, tastes great.
Poh Piah/Spring Rolls.
Char Koay Teow from Bee Hooi again delivered on ultimate prawn-freshness, it is also less oily than most versions.

Dinner at Pulau Tikus Market

The Koay Teow Th'ng stall - good.
Char Koay Teow with Duck Egg. I'd read so much about vkeong's love for Char Koay Teow with duck egg in BM I really wanted to try this. I'm not sure if this was quite the same deal but it was definitely good char koay teow. I must say though that Bee Hooi's is superior in prawn freshness - these weren't bad but they didn't measure up.
Very good, extremely lardy - be warned.
Siam Laksa - I think, correct me if I'm wrong here this is basically assam laksa with santan - I tried a spoonful of this and thought it was great. Mag said that an entire bowl was a bit too heavy and thick for her.