I Not Stupid, thanks to Pork Noodles at OUG

Having been strongly traumatized by my own ineptitude and missing my flight back to Penang this weekend to see Ollie, celebrate Mother's Day with the home crew and get my hometown food fixes, I had planned on getting my prawn mee fix at the famous stall in Taman Sri Sentosa but alas, did not make it out of bed in time.

You mean, you booked on the wrong flight route coming back to see me and realized only when you were checking in at the airport? And you're how OLD? Little Ollie gapes at the foolishness of the nitwit he's supposed to call Aunt.

Ho-hum.

I can't take the scrutiny any longer! Some other type of noodles will have to do, so I swing the car into OUG, park the car near the OUG wet market square and bundle out, sleep still in my eyes.
There are plenty of good eats around here, but I like the look of the Auntie who was serving up bowl after bowl of steaming noodles at Restoran Lucky.

Dry lou shu fun, slippery, cooked just right and finished with the nectar that is dark & light soy sauce and lard.

The accompanying storm in a blue plastic bowl arrived, murky liquid and flooded with minced meat, shredded pork meat, liver, one whole egg, vegetables and plenty of other unidentifiable wreckage from Auntie's fearless commandeering.

The broth is wonderfully sweet and concentrated on all flavours pork, instantly diffusing any self-doubt from this weekend's episode of ditz. The calm that follows the storm of this serving of Pork noodles (RM4.30) settles in. I forgive myself, and also decide that with the abundance of faith-restoring meals like this in KL, my Penang food cravings can wait a couple more weeks.

The stall is situated in Restoran Lucky, opposite the BHP station, for those seeking mercy in a bowl.

One Ballad too many, Decanter Too, Desa Sri Hartamas

Following the string of posts about Decanter Too at Desa Sri Hartamas such as here and here, we visited to see if it lived up to the earlier Decanters' reputation for serving to generations cheap, comforting food & drinks.

Located on the same row as Fong Lye, street parking is relatively easy IF and only if you get here before 6PM. After that, it's best to just head straight to the open-air paid parking lot behind the KK mini-mart across the road. Decanter Too also neighbours the entrance to the pole-dancing studio on the first floor, so on evenings where we sat at one of the two tables outside, it was only a matter of time before the traffic of fit and fabulous pole-dancing class attendees made us somewhat conscious and sheepish of the boozy feast on our table.

Hainanese Chicken Chop - unrestrained portions and reassuring, but the batter could've been somewhat lighter. Also, this introduced me to my first and recurrent grouse to the food here - too healthy dosing of MSG!

Hui's Stir Fried Fish with Shallots & Spring Onion confirmed the MSG irritant, for she reacted immediately to it with a dull ache at the back of her neck.

Deals like 3 jugs of beer for the price of RM100 nett are too alluring so despite the parched throat in the middle of the night after that meal, I returned the same week.

One of the recommended whites by the bottle - Domaine Sur Lie (RM99++). This was too dry for my liking, should've gone for the other recommendation.

Chicken & Mushroom Pie (RM8) - Somewhat routine, but served its purpose of a light pairing with the wine.

Mel's Steak Pie (RM8) - good with her beer, generous chunks of meat a nod to Decanter's rep for offering value for money.

Cantonese Fried Noodle (RM9) - Meal owner N proclaimed it OK-lah, not the best he's had but certainly agreeable at that kind of price.

Oh, one more gripe - when we arrived at a little past six, the music playing was a Scorpions' greatest hits on repeat at a discomforting, piercing volume. The third time we heard the ominous whistling in the opening bar of Winds of Change, we requested for a change in music, only to be replaced by yet another equally nauseating greatest hits compilation. No music snub intended, but Scorpions at a dining outlet like Decanter's is akin to playing opera at a night club. Or K-pop at a cocktail reception. Or Wu Tang Clan at a wedding solemnization. Oh wait, that could work. Anyway, point is, given the cosy ambience, they ought to give the kind of music they play some thought.

I'm indifferent to the food, but the pricing's reasonable, drinks cheap, the service fast and attentive ('cept for the music, y'all), an outlet that I wouldn't mind coming back to.

Face to Face, Damansara Perdana

Weekend house-hunt continues, AM to PM: Getting really weary that the hours of the much too precious weekends pored into this aren't bearing any fruit. I may be veering down the path of making do with whatever's available because I want to wrap this long drawn out exercise soon.

Invariably, another Pan Mee craving is invoked. We head to Face to Face in Damansara Perdana, after yet another futile viewing in the neighbourhood.

Vicky is a happy clam when she sees Fu Chuk fritters at merely RM1.80 and orders it in a jiffy. It comes with a watery but complementary curry dipping.

Kampung wine chicken mee suah which turned out to be skinny pan mee in a clear soup. Nothing to shout about, as the texture of the noodles was all wrong to begin with.


My house Specialty Spicy Pan Mee. I am disappointed that they can only do the dry version with Thin or Thick pan mee, not "Pinch" which is my top pick of the three. It arrives to the table plain like this, but there's plenty of chilli in a huge jar on the table for you to help yourself.

I go crazy, naturally. Bring on the dripping nose!

The Ribena with Longan drink relieves the heat from the pan mee, although I find the Fanta grape colouring suspect.

We also share a bowl of dumplings, which came in a very hearty serving of six pieces with plenty of greens. We struggled a little with this towards the end but all props to the plump meat & shrimp filling.

Face to Face's decent prices and hearty meals (about RM30 for two) explain the crowds that build up during meal times, and its firm position as a neighbourhood favourite.

Deal or No Deal, Guzzle, Damansara Perdana

Guzzle used to be Bella Roma, an Italian joint famed for its 1-for-1 promotions. Once they stopped those deals, the crowds trickled to a stop. Basically they were driven out of business by the unrelenting Malaysian rigid obsession with promotions, and never paying full prices, unless they are advertised as some kind of deal or another.

Guzzle now serves the usual myriad of decently priced Western munchies, pizzas, pastas etc. alongside a decent selection of cocktails and beers. And picking up where its predecessor left off, Guzzle's deals are better than ever!

The 1-for-1s are back! We were there on Thursday night though so we got the complimentary cockails and the 4+1 imported bottled beers.

Lime Drop & Bloody Mary. Even though they're on the house, they make 'em strong. We like!

4+1 bucket - take your pick from a healthy list of imported beers. Our configuration for the evening: 3 x Stellas, 2 x Hoegaardens.

To eat, Hui has the Mushroom & Blue Cheese pizza. While the base was merely serviceable, the toppings were properly profuse and went very well with our beverages.

I get the Mafia - pepperoni (withheld here), smoked chicken ham, olives and the ultimate prize topping... quail egg!

I cannot sing enough arias to describe the composition of egg left to cook on an oven-fresh pizza, the runny yolk carelessly handled so it glides slowly but surely to fuse with the other toppings on the pizza. Just look at this work of art! I could barely wait a second longer to consume this in one swift movement, together with the rapidly coagulating golden yolk.

It was a good evening, the service friendly and the total bill a very gracious RM126. The place seemed awkwardly quiet though, next to the crowded Deutsches Gasthaus. Let's hope the deals are enough to draw back a respectable crowd soon.

Guzzle is located on the ground floor of Metropolitan Square in Damansara Perdana.

Mr Ho's (Small) Big Breakfast & Mr. Pieman, Hartamas Shopping Centre

How great is this three-day weekend? I actually feel rested for the first time over a weekend in a long while. When will we ever see the four-day working week materialise??

Finally made it to brunch with Dianne after months and months of planning, navigating weekends away, work schedules and whatnot. We agreed on Plaza Damas with Fogal's protein extravagance in mind, but then detour to Mr. Ho's Fine Foods, one of the latest F&B entrant at Hartamas Shopping Centre.

Adena, aged 7, a bundle of precocious energy. I remember her vividly as an infant, then a sassy toddler like it was just yesterday!

All three of us get the Big Breakfast which comes with coffee or tea. Mr. Ho's brews Avanti - this is good, a strong and robust kickstart right before midday.

If you think there's nothing Big about this, you are spot on. Mr. Ho's serves its Big Breakfast in two sizes and in an attempt to exercise some balance on account of having missed my morning swim because of an accidental hangover, I go for the Small size. Two triangles of very thin wholemeal toast, a tablespoon of baked beans, one pork sausage, a SHRED of bacon and one egg, sunny-side up does not make for a very filling breakfast - it's almost like a tasting platter. The other Large size is apparently twice the portion of this, which would be about right. However, at a mere RM9.90 nett for the Small with good coffee, I'll admit that we get what we pay for.

With obviously room for more, I keep my eyes open as we walk around the mall a bit and spy Mr. Pieman, a kiosk in front of Mercato supermarket.

Mr. Pieman has four pie flavours - Rotorua Chicken, Waikato Beef, Tauranga Vegetable and Kaipaki Apple. I find the obvious NZ reference curious and a quick poke around the website reveals that the founder picked up pie-making from the Kiwis. The kiosk also sells a Potato Top version, in beef and chicken.

Rotorua Chicken (Small). I love that the pastry isn't puff and offers a lot more substance (and less mess!) when you bite into it. Also, the filling is generous - plenty of chicken in a peppery white sauce. While it tastes fine on its own, I do find that a little bit of Heinz ketchup went a long way with this. RM2 per piece or get 5+1 for RM10.

Potato Top - the potato crust is baked to a crumbly texture and melded well with the filling. I'd expected the filling to be different from the pie's, on account of its name but as both were very small servings, I don't find it too much and they filled me up very nicely.

The verdict? Mr. Pieman is certainly an interesting addition to Hartamas Shopping Centre and the general deficiency of good pies in KL; I would definitely venture back to try its other flavours.

The Soup of Champions, Farlim, Air Itam

The synonymity of Assam Laksa and Penang is under critical threat. Serious laksa aficionados will tell you that the true art of laksa-making is on the decline on the island. Previous haunts for the best laksa, ie. Penang Road, Gurney Drive, Gottlieb Road, are faltering, no longer quite cutting local laksa tastebuds, trained and brought up on only the best.

A smattering of the good ones remain. Shell Station laksa in Farlim, Air Itam is one of them.

For me, the merit of the laksa lies heavily on whether kembung (mackerel), the original type of fish for assam laksa or sardine fish, the latter-day, more convenient substitute, is used.

Shell Station is a kembung purist, and you really don't find too many of those around anymore.

A standard bowl of Shell Station laksa comes with sliced fish balls, which I can frankly do without. However, the soup, thick and mysteriously murky, implores urgently and quietens the cynic in me immediately, commanding a downpour of sweat and island-style humility.

Unlike the traditional recipe calling for the fish to be flaked, Shell Station's laksa merely debones its kembung whole and leaves the flesh of the meat and skin intact. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I don't mind it as much, even though I decide that I still prefer mine flaked.

Crispy spring rolls, great for dipping into the soup of champions.

While Farlim is outside my comfort zone on the island, it's great to know we can still come back here for the real thing. It is located on Medan Angsana 4, in a more functional lot in the Farlim Business Square, having moved from its namesake's location some time back.

Taro terror!

My recent revisit of fish meat beehoon in Penang has made me hanker for more. I'd completely disregarded this soupy delicacy for many years - I'd shut it out during my parents' glory days of relentless eating, when they'd pretty much insisted on it five days a week for breakfast.

Now that no one is feeding me it against my steely teenaged will, my interest in this has been revived and I am hell-bent on OD'ing on it all on my own. What better place to begin than the illustrious waterfront mecca of bountiful breakfasts, Gurney Drive?

Public Cafe, still standing the test of time, despite being the clear underdog next to the eminent Song River.

The stall features a rather extensive menu around its array of fresh seafood, including claypot oyster noodles and fried fish head beehoon but we stay focused.

In the mornings, only freshly brewed Chinese tea is available as the kopitiam doesn't operate until around 11AM.

First up is the evergreen standard fish meat beehoon, comes in a claypot, more than enough to serve two. It is teeming with fresh fish meat, and tons of greens, and a sprinkling of chopped bird's eye chilli is all that's needed to add extra seasoning.

There is none of that much-maligned smell of the sea in this; it's extremely subtle, yet gratifying at the same time. What have I been doing, keeping myself away from this?!

The second version of the day, however, overwhelms even further. The addition of taro (or yam, both names equally fitting for this utterly enticing root), minced meat and stalks of spring onion elevates it to a different league of breakfast noodles altogether. I am remorseful that I have spent the last ten odd years stubbornly refusing this subdued yet profound meal, but I quickly forgive myself, for the only way to correct wrongful (self) deprivation is to over-compensate and make up for lost time.

So it is with this that we springboard into the domain of more fish meat beehoon finds! Recommendations most welcome!