Char Koay Teow, the inadvertent revival of "Not many, if any!"

Chinese New Year. Not the sickly hot and tedious affair that I had dreaded.

Earlier plan to abandon the festivities in hometown Penang this year and hibernate in foetal position in KL until the last of the fireworks went poof got upended last-minute. Mag and precious Ollie decided to come home after all!

And who says no to Ollie? To quote this (admittedly catchy in retrospect) one-time NZ hip-hop flash in the pan, "Not many, if any!"

The same quote, also applies as standard response by any person worth his or her weight on the island to my biggest beef during Chinese New Year - the question on the streets, "what to eat ah??"

But this one time, I was coaxed by Toto into the wild frontier of Penang CNY traffic to break fast with him at this cafe, end of Jalan Air Itam, almost at the foot of Penang Hill.

This industrious couple dished up plate after plate of authentic Char Koay Teow.

A decidedly small portion for RM5, as expected. But the smoky, heady plate of silky noodles, thoroughly coated with the goodness of egg and animal fat, topped with two pudgy, fresh prawns KILLED it.

"Uh, how many dudes you know roll like this,

how many dudes you know flow like this,

not many, if any,not many, if any,

How many dudes you know who got the skills to go in and rock,

a show like this,
uh uh, uh uh, I don't know any body."

The exception it seems, is here.

Now excuse me while I try restore my long-buried ambition to become a rapper, uh uh uh uh

Excellent Cafe (also "Xin Ya Zhou" or "New Asia" in Mandarin)
Jalan Air Itam
(last coffee shop on your left if you're coming from Georgetown, right before you hit the Penang Hill roundabout)
11400 Penang