Mall-functioned, Zouk Cafe & Bar, Gardens

Organised retail is a tough call. On one hand, our heinous traffic/public transport conundrum presents a commercial case for the ongoing erection of these mercenary all-in-one monoliths.

But sticking in air-conditioning and opening the shutters are hardly sufficient to convert window shoppers to serious ones, given the stiff competition and growing disdain for these hastily built but ultimately malfunctioning edifices.

Zouk Cafe & Bar at the Gardens in Mid Valley is an example of an outlet with failed potential given the captive traffic who work in the vicinity and starved for choice to wind down on a Friday evening.

Lasagne a.k.a. hunka microwaved rubbery beauty topped with melted plastic resembling play-doh cheese. Tasted no better, I was informed.

Fettucine Carbonara got an indifferent "Creamy" from meal owner, but only because she was well famished by the time the pretty gleaming plate was set in front of her and had no inclination for verbal expression.

An underwhelming Steak Sandwich done rare, which somehow translated to an alarming grey mass of mystery meat.

The Cheeseburger, a far cry from the Ramly outside a 7-Eleven I had later that same evening.

The Seafood Alio Oglio, which was served with thoroughly dessicated scallops. Not the way the mighty Creator intended for this mollusc to contribute to the food chain.

The Doughnut Dippers were hilariously stale and colourless. No one was in a hurry to try this.

Happy Hour beverage prices currently apply only for Carlsberg and house pours.

A disappointment, as with most mall outlets, saved only by the dependable camaderie of battle-scarred colleagues. Next time, we'll know better to get into our vehicles, fight the traffic out a little further for a better class of merrymaking.